Too Much Information

You know me.  I don't mean to say you have literally met me, shaken my hand, and have had a conversation with me.  I mean to say that you in the last week you have probably run into someone like me.  You may have been in the grocery store, at the copy machine at work, waiting outside the kids' school, or near the chips and dip at a party when you encountered my kind.  I am the person who takes the conversation one step beyond where it should have ended.  I am the person who can't just give the simple answer, wrap up the conversation and move on.  No, not me.  I leave you mentally willing an escape hatch to appear.

Now, I know I am not the worst person of my kind.  I won't hijack your conversation forever...just slightly over the comfortable amount of time.  If you compliment me on my shoes, you are likely to get the story of how I came to buy them.  "How's it going," might yield the story of whatever calamity occurred this morning as I was getting ready for work. I talk and talk until I notice that uncomfortable twitchy body posture that says, "Oh my God, get me out of here!"  As my victim quickly rounds the corner and ducks out of view, the remorse creeps in.  "What the hell is wrong with me?" I ask myself, "why can't I just give a simple answer to a simple question."  When someone asks you how you are, just say, "fine."   If someone compliments your outfit, say "thanks."

Why am I like this??  It probably stems back to, of course, my childhood.  As a kid I was shy, I didn't know what to say in new situations and often felt awkward trying to make small talk with new people.  So I learned to blend in to the scenery and  keep myself from being noticed. I didn't express opinions or give much in the way of information about myself.  I mainly just agreed (within reason of course) with whatever the speaker said.  As I got older and gained more confidence and all those bottled up thoughts and feelings came whooshing out like air rushing out of a balloon. I just can't hold it in any more and thus give TOO MUCH INFORMATION.  Welcome to my life.